trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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