i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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