SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
