i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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