At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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