"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
