I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
