Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
