It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
