i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
