Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
