four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
