If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize