she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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