is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize