see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.