these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.