just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Use "feeling words"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.