Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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