Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
