I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
