i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
