I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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