Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
