you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
