whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
