We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
