So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
