he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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