it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
my poor anus
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
