she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
