1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize