Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
