U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
