Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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