Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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