he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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