Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
