He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
