yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Small penises have feelings too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize