the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
