but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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