Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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