he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(