I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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