He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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