last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
