Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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