the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
God gave him joint rollers for hands
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
