i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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