Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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