Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
