It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
